5 Things You Hear A Lot if You’re From a University Affiliated with Karachi University.

If you have studied in, or are studying in, a university affiliated with the University of Karachi (Karachi University; KU), you must have come across these five instances at least once in your life. If you haven’t, then immediately bow down in gratefulness and praise the Lord for that beautiful moment when KU stopped being itself!

These instances tend to increase in frequency as the year draws to a close.

1. ‘Beta, date agayi?’ (Has the date been announced, child?’)

 This question will be asked a million times and the answer, every time, will be in negative. 

2. ‘Third year start hogaya hoga na?’ (Your third year must’ve have started, right?)

 Wrong. Since I haven’t really taken any exams and therefore haven’t actually cleared the previous year. This is followed by pitiful glances and question number 3. 

3. ‘Fail tou nahin hogayi?’ (I hope you didn’t fail?)

Ha. You’re so funny I think I’ll die laughing. That joke would’ve been funnier (and perhaps more credible) had I actually attempted the examinations. 

4. ‘Still no date?’

 Um, no?

5. When did you start studying in Karachi University?!

I…didn’t? I think you misunderstood the word ‘affiliated’. 

 

 

 

V-Day Special: My Unrequited Love for Señor KU.

While everyone’s busy looking around for ways to impress their significant others, this Valentine’s Day I sit by my computer, as melancholy as one can possibly be, and write about my unrequited love for Señor KU.

Yeah, KU, one day I’d like this to be us.

Señor KU, otherwise known as Karachi University (or University Run by Men without Watches) and I share a unique relationship, one that, like many other love stories, is marred by tragedy. I would say that ours is a love-hate relationship, but then I would be commonizing something that is just so unique.

As I sit here, tears welling up in my eyes, all the betrayal flashes by my eyes. I remember when I chose you over everyone else, thinking that you would be kind to me. But, no. You had to go and ruin everything.

Despite your continued rejection, and the fact that your receptionists are simply rude (insert swearword), I never stopped calling you. I fumed every time the phone was shut in my face, thinking it was the last straw, but no. I always found my way back to you, begging you to answer my questions.

I immersed myself into my studies, hoping that one day that call would come – the call that would summon me to your oddly huge, dread-laden, lodgings. I was worried that I wouldn’t finish in time, that when the call came you would not find me good enough for you, but that fear is long gone. In our eternity apart, I managed to go over each and everything (although I’ll never be good enough for you!). I think, Señor KU, a call is overdue.

You’ve made me cry (come to think of it, you’ve never made me laugh), but I did have that nice rain moment once (in which you played no significant role). Nonetheless, I wait for you all day and all night. Just say the word, and I’ll be all yours.

But seriously dude (sorry Señor KU), it’s about damn time.

In the words of a cheap Pakistani V-Day silencer-less motorbiker:

KU, meri jaan, ab date dey bhi do naa.